I had been diagnosed with MS about 13 or 14 years earlier. My neurologists in a highly regarded MS Center in Boston gave me "disease modifying drugs" that had a "chance" to help "some people" to remain stable. I self-injected these drugs into my body for three years, and I did not remain stable; I continued to decline (balance, low energy, severe fatigue, cognitive issues, foot drop, etc) and was finally labeled as having secondary-progressive MS (declines, with no improvements). I had tried to stay active and eat only "healthy" food.
I used to ski, camp, hike, bike year round with my family. I had given up my career when my kids were young, because I just didn't have the energy to do everything well, so 25 years ago we became a one income household. By the time the kids were in high school, I had given up skiing, and even gardening, becoming weaker, and troubled with severe, debilitating fatigue 24/7/365. But by 2011 I was unable to walk without assistance (canes, walkers, wheelchairs, automatic shopping carts), and I was barely moving, which further weakened my muscles. It was all a vicious cycle, and I was finally left without any hope. If I had been suicidal, I would have probably ended it all, but I actually have a fairly positive attitude. But I was too tired ... I just wanted it to be over.
I had stopped driving my beloved Prius (my Zen Car), and it was just sitting there, unused. It broke my heart to do it, but I finally gave/sold it to my son. That was the the saddest thing for me, because I had given up the possibility of having any independence in my future ... I had given up.
Within a few weeks, my daughter told me about Dr. Terry L Wahls, her inspirational TEDx talk on youtube, and her own struggle with progressive MS, and how her diet had healed her.
So in February of 2012 - I spent 11 months changing my diet (now I am strict Wahls/Paleo), and I was getting my life back. My severe fatigue was gone, I had energy, My balance was improving a lot, I was walking better, cooking again, doing some shopping with my husband, and moving a lot more. I was thrilled with the improvements, just from eating massive quantities of organic produce: (veggies and berries), some wild seafood, free range organic poultry and 100% grass-fed meats, plus nuts and seeds (and their oils, milks and butters), and lots of herbs and spices. It is so wonderfully satisfying to eat this way, and I do not get cravings. My old foods were toxic to my body (grains, sugars, dairy, soy/legumes, rice, corn, white potatoes, processed and packaged foods). My healing foods make all the difference. I never want to go back to that black hole I was in. It's simply a matter of life and death for me. I am choosing life.
So my friend started driving me to the gym, and it was a huge challenge to go, but I was ready for the challenge. I stuck close to Audrey's side, because I needed her arm for support, which meant we had to do the same exercises and stay in the same area. I finally started bringing my walker (with a seat) because I needed some independance; we all have different needs. I finally had my husband buy a new car so I could have his Prius (I needed a Zen car again), because I knew I was ready to drive again. I started going to the gym more often, and consistently. I was working as hard as I could, but my muscles were still very weak, I started hurting myself, I could barely remember how to walk, and I still prefered sitting to standing.
I knew I needed help, and one day there was a sign-up sheet for a free "functional movement" class. I preferred doing everything myself, but I knew that if I wanted to move forward, which I did, I needed to do something different. I signed up, and I got a call about the class. I said I wasn't sure if I could do a class yet, but I wanted to know more. I was scheduled for an evaluation with "Josh", and I told my husband that I would never sign up with a personal trainer. EVER.
Josh Robinson evaluated me, and it was pretty pathetic. I could barely walk by myself, I couldn't even pull myself up from a squat using a stationary pole, and I certainly couldn't get up from the floor without a lot of help. I was so much better than I had been a year earlier, but I was still barely functioning. Josh said my big muscles were very weak, and my smaller muscles had to do jobs they weren't meant to do. He said he could wake up my weakened muscles, and get me walking again. He was passionate about muscles, and passionate about what he could do for me, and I trusted my gut ... because I desperately needed some help. I signed up with Josh, for 1 hour sessions, 3 times a week. I regretted it immediately; I wanted things to change, but I was terrified about what I was getting into, and doubted that it could me as much as I had hoped.
The first session, I had a list of written demands, because I was afraid this would turn into me talking too much and accomplishing nothing. I had been very lonely for a few years; my kids were out of college and very busy working and living their lives, and I had stopped cleaning the house so we never invited anyone over. I rarely left the house, afraid of ice and snow, or falling. I was too tired to move, or even climb the stairs to go to bed or shower. I had been sleeping on the couch till noon, watching TV all night and playing video games. My life was just sad.
My demands read something like this: "I am very motivated! I am here for results! I AM NOT HERE TO TALK!" Josh said good, but I could talk between sets when I was resting, if I wanted. And he proceeded to kick my butt.
It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Josh changed my life. He was incredible; he pushed me harder than I ever imagined he would, which is exactly what I wanted. I didn't want to be babied. I didn't want easy. And it was working. I felt incredibly good. I loved feeling my muscles aching the next day. My balance was improving a lot, I was getting stronger and soon I didn't need my cane or walker outside the gym. I felt like a warrior. I loved going in every time, and I never cancelled. Josh was kind and patient, even when I would forget the same moves over and over. He caught me many times if I fell. It was one of the best experiences of my life. My life has totally changed. When Josh had to head back to school to finish his classes for graduation, I was scared that no one would be able to replace him. I had come so far in 4 months or so, but I still had a long way to go. Josh had given me hope that I could ski again and that I could possibly, someday, walk a 5K. I had so many possibilities in front of me. It was very exciting.
But the universe is continuing to bring miracles into my life. My latest trainer, Mike Derkrikorian, is now kicking my butt 3 days a week. My improvements are continuing, and I love heading to the gym. I am amazed at how far I am coming. I trusted Josh, and I trust Mike. Mike is helping me build new nerve pathways to my muscles, around the damaged parts of my nerves. He catches me if I fall, using his "cat-like reflexes" (this makes me chuckle every time I think about it). But in the back of my mind I alway thought "These young trainers motivate me with their passion and dedication, but they really don't understand the limitations I have with MS".
Then I realized that I am putting limitations on myself, by even thinking this negative message. My newest accomplishment is that I am suddenly getting closer to being able to walk a 5K. I can now walk 2.84 miles on the treadmill, while holding on. That means I can use my walker to do it, or if I keep improving my balance, maybe even without my walker eventually. Next spring I will definitely do a 5K. I also plan on golfing again next spring. I can hit the ball straighter than I ever could, because I can now focus, get myself set (like I am preparing to do a squat), and move deliberately, using my core muscles to keep me from losing my balance.
This all sounds so basic, but there so many things that the trainers are teaching me to do again, because my body and central nervous system was so messed up for so long. I even started doing some classes, because I was ready to try new things. I like step (without using a step), and spinning (at my own pace). The spinning gives me some much needed cardio exercise, and feels great to do again. The step is very confusing for my brain, which is very good. I have to practice moving my feet while watching the instructor, and everything else going on around me. It is hard to keep up with even the basic steps, but it is slowly getting a bit easier. And I love yoga, and do what I can, but it is more and more each week.
Everything is helping me in so many ways. I am grateful for all of it. My positive attitude is helping me focus on what I want, and making it happen. I work my butt off everyday, and I love every single moment of it.
And it all started with the healing Wahls/Paleo diet that is fueling my body with exactly the nutrients it needs, when nothing else had ever helped me. Dr. Terry Wahls, you are my hero. You saved my life, you and your TEDx video on youtube. I even donated to your research fund at the University of Iowa, because I believe in this important work so much. Your first book got me started (Minding My Mitochondria), but I can't wait for your next book - "The Wahls Protocol: How I Beat Progressive MS Using Paleo Principles and Functional Medicine", because I hope it changes many more lives, just as mine has changed.
And I can never possibly express my deep gratitude to Josh Robinson and Mike Derkrikorian, at Best Fitness - Drum Hill. My life just keeps getting better and better. I know that there are no limits to what I can accomplish, if I willing to do the hard work. You both made me stronger than you will ever know. I love you both, and I wish the best for you because you deserve it.
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